How to ask for that second date
When you’ve got that funny feeling in your tummy (or your pants) that says you might kind of like this guy or gal you’re out with on that anxiety-producing first date, it’s time to consider how to pop the question:
bachelor or bachelorette number #2345, would you like a second date with me?
First dates are the appetizer of the dating world; we all sample a few that don't go down well A second date is a whole other ball of wax, mine kinde. A second date is the meal: there’s a bit of hope and expectation that what you’re ordering is worth the chew. You’ve got some chemistry and a desire to know this person better. How do you go about asking that crucial question? Here are a few pointers from yours truly.
Go with Intention
Instead of asking literally, “Can I have a second date?” “Can we go out again?” ask your new potential beau to “go” with you somewhere. There’s nothing like a plan in place to secure an easier and relatively stress-free second date. Ask your interest if he or she would be up for a movie, dinner or maybe a ballgame. I think having a plan in place of where to go next is more interesting for your potential date, and less anxiety-provoking than securing a date and time, and then figuring out where to go from there.
Pointer? Be specific. Ask to go to a particular movie or restaurant. This way if your sweet thing says he or she doesn’t like that type of food or movie, you’re given the opportunity to find out just exactly what your love connection does like.
Let me See Your Body Talk
Is your date sitting with his arms crossed, or is he leaning in closely? Has she grazed your hand, or is she bearing a slight grimace on her face? Watch your date’s body. You probably already are you pervert, however body language can indicate interest. If the body is talking, go in for the jugular. You’ll win the second date kill.
Easy Cowboy. Or Girl
If you’re doing the pee-pee dance because you’re so nervous about asking for the second go-round, you will scare your potential mate. Remember, the anxious animal that scatters about gets eaten by a more sophisticated and shrewd animal. If you’re about to pop a Xanax, consider telling your gal or guy Friday that you had a great time out, and then ask for date number deux later—just don’t wait too long!
From A Distance
Maybe you had a good time out during the first encounter, but you weren’t positive that she or he was ringing your bell. You get home and think, “Man, I think I’d like to go out a second time,” but you’re not sure how to ask now that the night is over, and your date is home and off your radar.
Go for the phone call. There’s nothing more personal and almost archaic about the phone call. Everyone likes to text or email, but a phone call is a personal touch and shows that even if you seemed a bit hesitant on round one, you’re significantly interested for round two. If you’re absolutely gun-shy about picking up the horn, try a very friendly and sweet text, something like: I didn’t get to ask you last night, but I’d like to go check out a movie this weekend if you’re around.”
It’s good to acknowledge that you may have missed a good moment to ask for another shot.
Chicks: this isn’t the fifties. If you like a guy, ask him out. Women always get the bad reputation of being needy or clingy, so when asking for a date, beware of sounding desperate. Try saying that you had a good time and that you would like to get together on a particular evening, and see where the conversation goes. If a guy can’t handle a woman asking him out, well then he should retire his genitalia and stay at home with his mommy.
Listen kids, if you ask for date number two and get kicked to the curb, don’t fret because there’s always another appetizer to snack on around the corner, and who knows? You just may like him or her better. Dust yourself off, and move on to space that hasn’t been navigated yet!